Concettta "Princess Superstar" Kris cher, the latest addition to the exponentially increasing community of Crackers in the rap game, is really pretty. So, needless to say, on our first date, which she insisted was only an interview, I was really nervous, especially when we started talking about anal sex. I didn't want to come across as a prude when she asked me if I'd ever "done it." Unfortunately, in the end, my buttfucking experiences didn't matter- The Princess just wasn't interested in an religious fundamentalist like myself. But all hope is not lost, my friends. My Princess did honor me with a good-night kiss on the cheek and say that she "had fun." She also gave me just enough juicy personal gossip to keep me warm on those many, many cold, lonely nights.

Do you have a boyfriend?

No, I just date people. It takes me a really long time to find somebody that I really like. And also, I've been so busy that I don't have time for a relationship. Recently, I've looked around at my life and been like, I am so fucking lonely. Really. Every one's like "Oh wow Princess Superstar a big sex symbol blah blah blah." Whatever. This is so weird, I'm totally opening up to you.

You have a really sexy voice.

Thanks.

Especially on the album- you sound really sexy.

That's just my persona. Princess Superstar is my persona.

So the sexiness is only facade?

Sort of. This is the deal, right. I love sex. I love it. For me the brain is the biggest sexual organ.

Sure.

That and other organs are nice.

True. So, do you date a lot of rappers?

I do date a lot of black guys- speaking of organs.

Kool Keith's on your album. I bet he's got the organ of a manimal.

I don't know. I never dated Kool Keith.

Who are you dating now?

I was dating a boxer for a while. He wasn't that big though. But, I'm dating a nice Jewish boy now. Well, I'm sort of dating him. He's really quick witted. I love it. The thing is- it's really weird. I'm sort of dating him and dating this boxer guy. They are two totally different guys.

Which sex is better?

I haven't had sex with either guy yet.

Who would you guess would better?

Wait! When is article coming out?

Maybe never.

Alright. That's such a fucking complicated question. Obviously, the boxer is like this raw animal god, with this big gorgeous body. And the other guy is so inventive and fun and smart and drives me crazy with these games and stuff... I guess sex would be better with the Jewish guy.

That's awesome. Things look good for me. Can I ask you another personal question?

Sure.

Well, you talk a lot about butts on your new album and you have a big drawing of yours on the cover.

Yeah. So?

So, what I guess I'm trying to say is, what do you think about anal sex?

It's not like my whole album is about anal sex! It's about butts. Like South Park type butts. I'm totally using humor for butts. I'm trying to flip around preconceived notions. All the current rappers talk about the girls with the big butts, blah blah blah. Now, I'm flipping everything on it's head. I'm the one talking about ass. I'm talking about Kool Keith's ass. I'm taking gender stereotypes and flipping them.

So, what I guess I'm trying to say is, what do you think about anal sex?

It's not like my whole album is about anal sex! It's about butts. Like South Park type butts. I'm totally using humor for butts. I'm trying to flip around preconceived notions. All the current rappers talk about the girls with the big butts, blah blah blah. Now, I'm flipping everything on it's head. I'm the one talking about ass. I'm talking about Kool Keith's ass. I'm taking gender stereotypes and flipping them.

So, it's not about buttfucking?

No.

Well do you think it's gross?

No, I don't think it's gross.

That's awesome.

-courtesy of "While You Were Sleeping"

www.whileyouweresleeping.com

-end of interview

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